Warning: This post is a rant of the mind, without form or purpose, and best read with a pinch of salt.
There are certain times in our lives where we feel we are caught in a valley.
It’s usually characterized by the inability to see beyond the hill in front of us, simply because of the constantly elevating terrain that blocks our vision.
In many ways, this is where I feel I’m at with my life at the moment. At work, things are moving so fast, but at the same time, the ability to see past the next 3 years is a struggle. In my life, having made some significant choices and working through some difficult seasons, I’m now at a place where I feel everything I know about myself has been pulled apart.
I’ll try to explain this part.
Typically, we draw our sense of identities from the things we do, our work, our education, our accomplishments, what sports we play, how much money we have in our bank account, the people we know etc. But what happens when all these things start to crumble, when education completes itself, our accomplishments fade to black, we grow older and are not able to compete at the same level as we were able before(not to mention younger people taking over). Gradually but surely, it’s very likely that we’ll all come to a place where we come face to face with what I’d call a Valley. A place where our ability to attach a sense of identity or worth to a particular ‘thing’ is lost, and all we are left with is our unsure, insecure little self, that is then forced to choose, where to next?
But it is here, in this place, that we find ourselves most able and most graced with the opportunity to work out our character. That innermost place which is usually covered and shaded by layers upon layers of the images and facets that we wear, our Dr so and so, CEO so and so, Pastor So and so. All now finally stripped bare, the chance to make choices from this place of incredible weakness is a very important one that we should embrace.
So how do we take hold of a season like this?
We do so I think, by laying before us, the choices that life presents to us, and having considered with as much wisdom and clarity we have, we choose. We put our trust in the choice that we believe is the best for us, and we stick to it. Possibly, in the area of relationships, the choice to hold on, to enter into a season of singleness, or to start afresh. Or in the area of work, the choice to sell out, to hire someone else to take your place, or to stay and nurture and see it grow.
And out of our unsure, insecure selves, we nudge ahead, and we take a step forward, with a certain kind of trust that’s only found in weakness, in Valleys. I use “our” or “us” a lot in this post, when I really meant “me” more often than not. It’s really a season of finding clarity. A vision for my own life is what I really seek. As such, I will be nudging my weak self in this Valley a little bit further in this season. And I’ll trust that whatever I choose, it will be Good.