"I love you guys"

An unexpected message shot across my phone screen from a close friend. What sparked the random expression of a deep emotion, I wondered.

"A close relative just got cancer. Brain. Stage 4"

My heart sank.

Feelings of injustice and sadness overwhelmed me. What else can you feel, when a 45 year old is handed a card like this.

2020 has been a year of many such reminders.

Kobe, 41. Chadwick, 43.

Some would make a case for living unabashedly and with no regrets - the YOLO movement.

Others would remind us of the importance of thoughtful, measured planning.

Is there a way to walk the tightrope of life holding both of these in perfect balance?

Would we find ourselves content living our one short life without an episode 2 lingering at the end of the white light?

Perhaps we've gotten our spirituality wrong.

Perhaps our beliefs were never meant to give us all the answers.

Perhaps they were always meant to simply help us walk each step confidently and with abandon, even as we wrestle with these impossible questions in our one short life.